Satire 🤡

At a recent event at Mar-a-Lago, former President Donald Trump announced what he termed “the greatest, classiest, most beautiful trade deal in American history.” The unusual deal involves a trade with Japan, where Trump exchanged rare earth minerals for a life-size statue of Chun-Li, the famed fighter from the Street …

In a recent announcement, U.S. Secretary of Health Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has initiated a preliminary review regarding the neurological effects of Power Stars, a notable power-up from the Super Mario video game series. This inquiry responds to mounting concerns about how these fictional power-ups might shape children’s expectations and …

The British government has initiated the Wank Licensing Scheme, a new digital regulation aimed at promoting responsible solo adult content consumption. Following its rollout, over 14,000 UK citizens are currently under investigation for unauthorized viewing of explicit material, notably stemming from their access to content like “Busty MILFs 7” without …

In Clinton, NY, the demolition of the town pool in July has been clarified by the Clinton Central School District, revealing plans for a new play space called the “Love Is Love Playground.” This state-of-the-art facility is designed specifically for LGBTQ+ children, although officials emphasized that it will be inclusive …

In a shocking incident early Tuesday, a quiet suburban neighborhood in Omaha was ravaged by a paramilitary strike force allegedly sent by Nintendo. The force conducted a sudden assault targeting residents suspected of creating and distributing homemade Legend of Zelda-themed keychains without the appropriate licensing. Eyewitnesses reported a highly organized …

Local software designer Lucas Whittaker, 29, experienced a range of emotions on Tuesday after reading about a man’s death from COVID-19. Initially, he felt profound sympathy for the unnamed victim, reflecting on the heartbreak caused by the pandemic. However, his feelings quickly shifted to happiness upon learning that the man …

The U.S. Supreme Court has declared the so-called “beauty quota” unconstitutional in an 8-0 ruling that mandates FOX News to hire “a statistically representative sample of unattractive women” as news personalities. This landmark decision, described by legal analysts as marking “the end of an era” for cable news, emphasizes the …