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US army to draft anyone with a Call of Duty K/D ratio over 0.38

I believe it was the wise monk known as “Slim Shady” who said, “I’m 28, they gon’ take you fore they take me”. Alas, times have changed. Now they are even making uniforms for 12 year olds who’ve f***d a bunch of stranger’s moms. But more importantly, because lack of willing participants, a draft in place …

Follow the rest of this piece over at: Lampoon Tribune (Read More), a goofy place for satire and nonsense. We warned you, its absurd!

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